A Story WIthout a Name

...And could really use it, 'cause I'm tired of calling it that.

That's right, folks, I have access to this old thing again. I had lost the file in a computer update, but my stepsister recovered it for me by some magical means. I have a link on the desktop right now, so I can restart work on it whenever!

:0 cool!

But will you post updates on it?

Mystyr Nile wrote:

:0 cool!

...And I haven't said a thing about it, and you're already enticed.

Ghosty wrote:

But will you post updates on it?

Instead of writing at the site I directed you to first, I'll post them right here...when I have the time.

No, silly! Your sister's magical!
^.^
Also, you write coolishly.

Mystyr Nile wrote:

No, silly! Your sister's magical!
^.^
Also, you write coolishly.

Yeah, she really can be...
Also, you've hardly seen me write yet.

Here's something I didn't put in last time--it shows that our main characters are being watched.


The Dark Lord strode down the hallway. Despite his constant paranoia, he had come to the meeting without guards. He came to the last door, at the other end of the hallway. “Gathering,” it read, and nothing more. Grunting and adjusting his ornate visor, he opened the door and stepped in.

The flaming figure over by the fireplace glanced at the door. “Necro, you’re late,” they said accusingly. One could tell from the voice that the flaming figure was of male descent.


“Oh, calm thyself! It hasn’t started yet, so how can I be late?” The Dark Lord, apparently named Necro, spat right back. Their voice also appeared to be male.

“…Would you two stop bickering?” Called a heavenly voice from behind a hand of cards. Despite the trend going on, this voice sounded female. The angelic figure sat behind a table, watching her opponents: a watery-looking woman with shells in her hair, and a figure covered in a metallic shine. One could not tell the metal figure’s gender.

“Quiet, all of you! I don’t care if he didn’t miss it starting, but it’s starting now!” Shouted a figure, cloaked in ice, from across the room. We wouldn’t know why this was so important, but Necro, the flaming figure, the angelic figure, the watery, the metallic, and the icy all alike, all the Elemental Highlords, greater and lesser, turned their heads to the television-like device that was being powered on.

This was the event that could change history. Here it was, the big moment—the first crystal was about to be discovered.

It seems cool so far.

CHAOS_FANTAZY wrote:

Also, you've hardly seen me write yet.

Meh, I may have mixed you up with someone else.

It's good to finally see this story.

C'mon, guys, it's not like you to be quiet. Comments? Criticism? Suggestions, even?

I'm not a critic. I'm not very creative. so why should I say anything?

Well, fine, I'll tell you a little about being one.

First, review the entire thing. Look for certain things, like spelling mistakes, but also literary patterns.
Then, decide if you liked it or not. Then ask yourself, "why did I like it?"

Can I just say I liked it because you're my fwiend? ;-;

Ghosty wrote:

Can I just say I liked it because you're my fwiend? ;-;

I'd rather you didn't. That's like saying a girl's the most amazing thing ever just because she's "hot."

CHAOS_FANTAZY wrote:

Ghosty wrote:

Can I just say I liked it because you're my fwiend? ;-;

I'd rather you didn't. That's like saying a girl's the most amazing thing ever just because she's "hot."

That's how most people think.

"The common man is a fool"
-H.L. Mencken

Well, it was a bit difficult to keep track of which character was which, perhaps more specific--though not necessarily longer--descriptions of the anonymous figures.